cat - Goldie

One day in the winter of my 18th year I felt a burst of inspiration to snap a picture of our cat Goldie looking out our window. Technical photography issues were no concern; I simply grabbed my cheap camera, went out onto our snowy front yard, pointed, and clicked (twice).

I didn’t notice that she grew bored with the outdoors and decided to move on.

me

Sometimes we do things and end up with unexpected results. Well, lots of times we get unexpected results – or at least that’s the way it is with me. Sometimes we get bored and decide to move on. Today I’m remembering that those things can be for the best.  Continue Reading…

I’m Somebody!

March 22, 2014 — 8 Comments

I feel like Steve Martin when he exclaimed (something along the lines of), “The new phone book is here! I’m somebody!”

The feeling surged through me this morning when I read Tunisia Jolyn’s interview with and kind words about me.  Tunisia is on a mission to brighten the world, and she has certainly brightened mine. I first “met” her through THE JOLYN PROJECT, which she recently released to start the brand spanking new a little positivity {dot} com.

Please hop over to becoming, one breath at a time with Kelly Kuhn, and while you’re there, snoop around and subscribe to her latest project. She’s pure delight and sure to bring daily doses of positivity to your life!

I’m feeling like a little Bobby McFerrin is in order:

 

Silence and Playing Small

February 19, 2014 — 17 Comments

Peering over Dad’s shoulder, I was entranced by his words and hand movements. He held a shoe in his lap, and was teaching my older brother how to tie the laces. I watched and carefully listened to the lesson, to my brother’s attempts to mimic Dad’s motions, and Dad’s continued guidance. My mind buzzed, trying to memorize every detail. After I felt I could do it on my own, I slipped away to find one of my shoes and excitedly followed Dad’s instructions.

shoesBeing able to tie my shoes was one of my first secrets, which I kept until what seemed an acceptable time after my brother learned. I don’t recall telling anyone in my family that I learned before him until last year.

It’s a small thing, but I learned this week that it’s part of a significant soul issue, one I am now trying to understand and process. I have discovered a very strong belief that I dare not achieve certain things or else my brothers will feel bad. This is laughable because my brothers are intelligent, talented, and pretty much wonderful. Yet my belief is very real, and very powerful.  Continue Reading…

Throughout my childhood, I was a hand watcher. A hand envier. Other girls had skinny, pretty fingers – so delicate and feminine!  Most women had long, elegant hands and fingers. How I longed for those hands, for that gene pool!

But it wasn’t my lot. Of the few physical characteristics I inherited from my mom, at the top of the list were short, fat fingers. Even though she had a great figure, my mom’s hands looked like my grandma’s minus 4 decades. I continually watched both pairs of hands as they washed dishes, cooked meals, rested. And as I watched, I knew my fate. Knew that pudgy hands were a life sentence.

The thing is, Grandma’s hands were highly skilled – able to sew, crochet, and quilt like nobody’s business. Mom played the piano and organ, and could type as fast as most could speak. I discovered I inherited similar talents, but that didn’t stop me from frequently complaining that it wasn’t fair.

Fortunately, as the years passed, I made peace with these hands. They type fast, play piano well, scratch my cats, and they lovingly held and cared for my babies. They take a nice photo once in a while. They look just fine with my developing wrinkles and age spots, frequently reminding me of the two women I loved so much.

Icy Altima

For at least a month I’ve thought and wanted to blog about my (mom’s) hands. Even so, when I read The Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Selfie, they didn’t come to mind … until I saw that they had photo bombed this picture of ice sliding off my daughter’s car.

As luck would further have it, today I read I’m Falling in Love With My Shoulders This Valentine’s Day, and I realized that I really do love these hands, and I’m grateful for the inheritance. Thank you, Anka, for starting this love fest. If any of my readers want to join in, check out her link – she’ll be glad to have you join the fun!

7 days

 

 

Cutting into a pepper always involves a sense of intrigue; I can never be sure whether the inside will be hollow but for the seeds, there will be mold, or it will look like this:

Red pepper insides

So, too, are people mysterious – each of us filled with a unique combination of messy and curious beauty.

Rather than rushing into judgment of another’s motivations, choices, and character based on what we see, let’s choose instead to feel more grace for the unseen.  To really help heal the world, let’s give ourselves that same amount of grace and loving kindness.

Namaste.

 

For other Weekly Photo Challenge: Object posts, please check out:

Words We Women Write

Bark Time = everything and nothing

Fractions of the world

 

 

 

 

Karen and Jamie's prints

When Karen was 3 years old and Jamie only 6 months old (June 1998), I wanted to juxtapose their handprints. Jamie was too young to keep her hands open for the adventure, so her footprints had to do. By June of 2000, we had success.

I don’t recall a time when I didn’t want to be a mom.  A stay at home mom.  Of all my dreams and wishes, this was highest on the list.

For the past 19 years, I have been living this dream come true, and nothing can make a dent in my gratitude for having the privilege of raising my 2 daughters.

That gratitude doesn’t stand alone, however.  Right next to it has been a continually changing pile of complicated feelings.  The unbridled joy of birthing my first daughter was only slightly greater than the abject terror of being responsible for a newborn (my husband sincerely asked one of the nurses if she would come home with us!).  The constant hugs and kisses from my sweet girls didn’t satiate my craving for adult company.  The unbearable lack of sleep was worth every minute of nursing my second daughter in the quiet nights, knowing she was my last child.  The panic of letting my oldest drive away after she got her license was swiftly brushed away by the freedom of no longer being her chauffeur.   Continue Reading…

The boys and me

My soul chose wisely by coming to my huge extended family, parents, and brothers.  They are wonderful people and I love(d) them very much, but I can really relate to Mary Engelbreit’s quote “Let’s put the fun back into dysfunctional.”  Thankfully, I have grown in direct proportion to the challenges I have encountered.  I have much to be grateful for.

Continue Reading…